Do you know about - Relationships and recovery From Addiction
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Relationships in rescue can be a tricky thing. In fact, most citizen probably don't realize it, but relationships are the whole one problem when it comes to relapse. Nothing else has the same whole of power to create such turmoil in our lives.
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Think about it: your life is made up of nothing but relationships. If you were living on a deserted island, with no one else, your life would be very distinct indeed. At the very least, your level of stress would undoubtedly be lower. This points out the true nature of relationships in our recovery: they are both a blessing and a curse. They bring us great joy, but they can also cause us a lot of grief. As such, they must be handled with care and approached in an piquant way.
There are essentially 3 types of relationships in your life: one with yourself, one with your higher power, and one with a critical other. There are also dozens of other relationships in your life, such as with your coworkers or your friends, but those are the 3 big ones. Let's take a look at them in more detail.
Relationship with yourself - This is the first relationship that you must cultivate and fix in early recovery, because it forms the basis for all other relationships. For most recovering addicts and alcoholics, this means forgiving yourself. What does this mean? It means that you have to let go of all of the emotional baggage that you are carrying around with you and give yourself a break. Now that you're in rescue you're trying to do something different. You need to forgive yourself and allow yourself to live again.
Relationship with your higher power - Again, most addicts and alcoholics in early rescue need to do some work in this area. When we first get clean and sober, we are normally far removed from our relationship with our higher power because we've been essentially ignoring God for so long. Getting back in touch with our spiritual side is critical for success in early recovery. There is a hierarchy here with relationship building. Start out by connecting with yourself and with your higher power, and this will lead to great relationships with others. As you get more in tune with your own spiritual side, your quality to join together and empathize with others will increase.
Relationship with your critical other - This can only flourish if you have nailed the other two relationships. In early recovery, there is a danger in rushing out and looking a new relationship with a critical other. The imagine this is so dangerous is because a new relationship will create a temporary and false spiritual connection, one that replaces any need to cultivate and sustain the other two relationships (with yourself and with your higher power). Those other two relationships are the ones that will keep you clean and sober, not the relationship with a critical other. But there is a strong tendency to use a new relationship as a rescue strategy without even realizing it, and many newcomers relapse because of this.
Remember that relationships are a double-edged sword. They can bring us great joy, but at the same time, they can be highly dangerous for the newcomer.
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